love letter to self, #7 of 35

the quiet in my body wants to be heard. she tells me to sit down, to pause so she can Be.

it is not often i get to sit down and think, process, feel with out interruption. a friend of mine recently asked me,

“what support do you need? what, if any, support do you want?”

this question paused me. and i have been thinking about it ever since.

do i want support?

this question is harder to answer than i would have thought.

practicing vulnerability with self- first step to practicing vulnerability with others. i smell the basil plant on my table, it too tells me i am safe here, just as my friend was sharing i can ask for support.

how do i regain the feeling of safety when so much of my life i feel like i have been running towards and from my own, Peace. running from because i simply don’t know how to do anything else. and running towards because i long for the peace inside me.

so i dance with myself to feel that vulnerability that no one sees. the tears don’t come out to my exterior but i feel them raining down, pouring inside me, washing me from the inside out.

love, loving one self Free is vulnerable work. tender work. breathe work. i sing myself awake, i hum myself to sleep. i want to feel free. free to walk proudly in all myself despite the hurts that walk beside me.

sing, dance, be still. hear my own silence, let the rain come down, let my sweetness be seen.

 

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