this spring was filled with rebirthing and cleaning out. as i welcome the summer i am feeling grounded in the changes i made this past winter and spring. difficult, life altering decisions, some left me feeling questioning right from wrong and others reminded me that i am in perfect alignment in my path. looking forward i see there is still so much work to do in the cleaning out part of my life. there are stories hidden that i tell myself over and over again, that are ready to let go of to make room for new stories, new freedoms, new heart felt moments and joys.
i have to take a moment to say i am proud of the work I’ve done this year. finding myself in mommahood- embracing my new identity as one of Ollin’s primary caretakers & still hang on to myself as a friend, daughter, sister, lover, team player. this new journey is a blessed one. the list continues, i made myself public as a healer seeking to work with queer folks and allies (Agua Dulce Healing). i also applied and got into an amazing one of a kind labor support training (Q/tpoc Birthwerq Project). this year has been about coming back into myself, celebrating the person i am, throwing shovels full of dirt on the buried shame.
i am growing, living to the best of my ability.
yet in the moments of silence, i still find myself feeling really impatient these days. wanting to do more than my finances allow. wanting a home, land to create a sacred base for my loved ones and me, for our communities to gather together to build. why is a homeplace so important to me? a homeplace provides the stability and location where i/we can teach ollin, other children, and community about plantas- explore the medicinal properties and uses of plants, learn about and make tinctures, continue to learn the magic of making spritzers and other self care protection pieces like beaded necklaces, copper wrapped crystals, making portals in the back yard for travel, and have a kitchen full of comida in the fridge, food i can make for friends and ollin to enjoy and nourish their bodies with.
while i write this, i am realizing that life is demanding that i expand my creative abilities and up my self care as i continue to make the transitions in my life as needed to support myself in my healing practice, my journey as a labor support person, and my continuing to grow into being a fabulous momma for ollin. for this to happen i ask myself, how do i remain grounded in transition? maybe i should sit by the trees that remain grounded as the seasons change to learn a lesson on that…
yesterday i bought ollin a purple unicorn. i was at a market and i saw it there in the flower section. i thought to myself, “a purple unicorn?…wow, i guess everything is possible…” so i named the little unicorn “everything is possible” and passed it on to ollin to remember this lesson every time she plays with her purple unicorn.
and it is this lesson, this sweet reminder that i am taking for myself here and now. todo es posible. change reminds me that i must be patient, loving to myself and others as we navigate new waters together, and most of all, a gentle reminder that joy must continue to reign in my/our bodies. for joy is the sweet nectar of life that allows us to keep going, that teaches us that resilience is always an option.
so i will continue to dream and remember that any moment at any time, can change me in a blink of an eye. and that my heart will be open to receive the new gifts, learn the lessons, and release when needed.