letting go

the past few weeks I’ve been growing in size, enjoying gifts and love from family and friends, cleaning house in preparation for baby, working a few hours here and there to satisfy my need for community engagement, and meeting with my 2 lovely doula’s, midwives, and a childbirth educator- all to help prepare baby and me for big day.

hardly any clothes fits me at this point, my obsessiveness for cleanliness and order have gone out the window, i stress less about the little things that really don’t matter, and i sleep when I’m tired.

I’ve also been doing some writing to the baby, sharing stories about our lives they will soon meet in person. i/we were gifted a lovely baby shower where most baby basic needs were covered, including major buys like a stroller, car seat, and swing. plenty of cute baby clothing, pillows galore, wipes to last weeks, playard that is also a changing area, and a cd of latino lullabies.

my hair has also gotten shorter to avoid having to do much with it when the baby is here and my body is recovering from labor. i feel more at peace with where i am at in my life than i have in a very long time…this includes financially, emotionally, physically, and psychologically. i celebrate this feeling by welcoming tranquility, friendship, and love into my life daily.

I’m learning that in the process of letting go of control and ideas that don’t serve me anymore, i allow myself to let in much more beauty. since i can’t walk fast anymore, i notice colors, plants, and peoples faces more. i love not being in a rush.

yesterday i set up the baby altar. each month i change the theme of the altar (depending on intentions set) and this month i decided that i wanted to dedicate most of the altar space to the baby, their journey to us through the birth canal, and to the new legacy they are bringing with them from the spirit realm that does not include alcoholism, procrastination, and self-hate. this baby brings with them their own self-created story, one that does not need to include cycles from the families they are being born into.

i’ll end here for now. have much more to share but will try to write more often.





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