Week 31, notes

i’ve reached my 31st week of pregnancy. exciting definitely. also filled with anxiety about how much there is to do before the baby arrives. mostly life logistical stuff that i’ve been avoiding. things like deferring student loans, making sure all my bills are on automatic bill pay so i don’t forget to pay a bill once i get busier than busy, preparing the house (AKA: cleaning out the bookshelves, closet, and bedroom to make space for baby + baby gear to come very soon).

there are a few more fun items on the to-do list as well. things like: reading pregnancy books/preparing for labor chapters; writing and talking through fears about parenting with loved ones; continuing to stay committed to my own spiritual growth and journey carrying Bald Eagle, lion, and Water medicines; creating a birth plan with alternatives in case of any emergencies; and spending quality time with my cats who will soon be hiding under the bed and in the closet with the new baby energy around.

i’m also intentionally attempting to eat more energy-filled foods. once i reached the 7th month i felt like i wasn’t going to be able to work because i get so tired so quickly. sometimes it feels like i am just going through the motions of work, physically being present but not in any other way..like a zombie or a sleepwalker. i would love to collect during and after pregnancy  recipes that are easy to make and are filled with healthy energy for ones body and baby.

last night after dinner, i noticed my ankles were swollen! i knew this day would come but it was still funny to look down and see my chubby feet. i remember witnessing my friend S’s experience during her pregnancy and her getting to the point where she was swollen on her feet and hands. i knew then that one day i would be her, carrying my own baby, body expanding and shifting for 9 months.

for the most part i don’t mind the body expansion plan I’m on but i would be lying if i didn’t also share that there are moments when i look in the mirror and i don’t really recognize myself, the pre-pregnancy face and body has transformed, is rounder, more full. i find myself looking in the closet for clothes that still somewhat fit and shoes, well i have to figure that part out soon because the sun is out and bright in southern california and the only comfy shoes i have are my winter boots with lots of cushion to support my arched feet.

this whole creating a baby process has been fascinating. and the community that it has brought together, the commitments it has strengthened between chosen family and to myself are definitely life altering. in just a few months there will be a little tiny newborn spirit joining us in this Earth-world.

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