when the stars go blue

i love my life.

there is a baby inside me, growing until they are ready to come into the human world.

my days are filled with my time.

the sage burns, cleansing my body, this space i call home, my spirit.

when the stars go blue is playing in the background. asking me where i go when i’m lonely.

this question leading me to write.

today i experienced a little bit of loneliness.

working at home means that i decide how i spend every minute of my days.

this can either be a great thing or a scary thing. it varies day to day. mostly it is a great thing.

but it requires discipline, routine, and intentionality for it to avoid going to being a scary thing.

why scary?

spending my days alone with nothing to do but only my to do list that never ends means that i need to self motivate to get things done. it means, i count on myself to follow through for myself. and no one is watching but me. i am accountable to myself.

it is a different feeling. a pretty good feeling. especially when i do what i am supposed to do.

this time alone brings a lot of self reflection. a lot of thinking about the present, how i got here and where i want to go. the path i am creating with each step i take.

the cats keep me in bed a bit too long. but we love it and savor every extra minute taken. more than anything they are my friends that witness more than anyone else does. who woulda known pets can play such an important role in ones life.

in terms of my writing i am trying to hone in on a genre i can focus on for 6 months. something i can create from and have edited by trusted folks in my life so that i can submit to writing workshops in the new year. this excites me very much.

me and my belly at writing workshops in the new year. then the baby will be born and i will strap the child to my back and take the road trip i have been wanting to take down south next summer. find some warm water that this baby and i can sit in. the sun warming our faces, bodies. maybe there will be coconut water and i can sit and write at the shore as the baby sleeps or feeds of me and our surroundings.

yes, all of this excites me.

xo

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