it was about an hour into my yoga practice this morning when she asked us to do pigeon pose. i was excited because pigeon has always been one of my favorite poses. it spreads open my hips (one at a time) while also stretching my full back.
once i got into position, a few seconds later, i burst into tears. i don’t know what came over me, it just happened.
i remembered that my hips carry a lot of stories. all kinds of stories, some that bring me joy and others that bring me sadness. i had flashback after flashback of people, conversations, questions i don’t have answers to. as i settled deeper into the pose i began to feel calm, as if someone whispered in my ear to “let go” of all that no longer serves me.
i put my head in my forearms and let the tears flow.
the next pose was one where my legs were spread open, back leg stretched, front leg folded/bent forward. my arms stretched back, causing an opening of my chest, heart space. i smiled because i know that as my hips release stories, my heart space also opens up for deeper stretches and joy.
i have so much work to do. my legs were a little wobbly as i walked out of yoga. i haven’t moved my body like that in way too long. slowly i will gain strength. i look forward it.
for now, i am so grateful i prioritized a coming home to yoga. i have been gone for a year at least. as i reflect on this new Fall season, the season of shedding and releasing, i realize that what kept me away was fear of myself, of letting go, of surrendering to the needs of my spirit that held me back. i love my yoga spot. and i appreciate that i have 6 more paid classes before i have to make another payment. this weekly prenatal practice should take me to Week 22 in my pregnancy. very exciting.
(cheesy video but love this song)