i am being intentional about my energy this next week. i don’t want stress to take over my being and affect those around me. i want to be present and enjoy the time i have left in l.a. before my big trip.
this year i prepared myself differently for brazil. last year i made no preparations, no intention setting before my trip. so when i was dropped off at the airport all i did was cry and want to go home.
this year is different. i am different. the self care involved in my relationship with self has sky rocketed in the last year. who i share energy with is cautioned and how i spread myself at my work and as a member of different communities is also well thought out. not perfect but a huge shift.
i re-visited my writings from last year and they were full of prayers. prayers in hopes to help improve relationships that were struggling, prayers for myself to stand up for me at the job, prayers to find my voice to speak up, prayers for my loved ones struggling. my writing since then has also been filled with prayers. only I’m noticing that i reach out for different tools to answer my own prayers. i feel that there is a lot more action on my part to make things happen for myself. i guess, i would say that i have noticed a greater commitment to myself to follow through with what i say I’m going to do, follow through with healing relationships that need to be healed, follow through with the learning that i have set myself out to do.
i am proud of myself for all this work. i think it’s important i say that out loud every once in a while. it doesn’t mean i have a big ego, it just means that i am learning to love myself out loud. if i learn how to love myself then i will be able to teach others how to love me. and that in itself i would consider a revolutionary act. it goes against the status quo, it tells the world that i am worthy of health, love, financial stability, success as defined by me and my community, growth. and what i love best is that i am simply a reflection of everyone else, therefore in my saying how worthy i am, i am also standing up and saying we are all worthy of health, love, financial stability, success as defined by you and your community, growth.
i want to remember all this when i get on that plane next week. i will be gone for 6-7 weeks, not sure yet. haven’t bought my return ticket. i work from the 7th of june to the 7th of july as a faculty advisor taking 5 students to study theatre of the oppressed at its birth place, Rio de Janeiro. After that commitment is completed a close friend and i will be traveling to a place called Bahia, I hear it’s magical; different from the rest of Brazil; the Black mecca of Brazil, culture, traditions, dances, food, and a distinct pronunciation of portuguese spoken. I can’t wait. My friend linked us up to all kinds of beautiful experiences there, including at some point in our trip, time spent with healers who will teach us about the ways of healing plants in that region. Thrilled!
in writing this morning i learned that although i have a massive to do list before i go, nothing really matters as much as enjoying time with my family, friends, and communities so that when i do get on the plane in 6 days, i fill full of their love and excitement for me. i know that when i travel, they get to travel too…through my pictures, stories, and writings.