living beyond survival means reclaiming my voice and the rhythms of my body

my louder than expected voice broke the 17 day silence.

it was as if i had been waiting for that moment to stand up in front of that so familiar audience and firmly read my own words.

before i read i said, this is dedicated to all the prisoners all over the world. this is for my brother who is also locked up.

and i looked down at my printed words, from my very core they were birthed and from that same place i shared them. it was as if my life, his life, their life depended on my courage to speak aloud, back straight, eyes on each of the eyes staring back at me.

and then as i heard myself speak of momma earth in me birthing joy, my heart of hearts smiled and it was affirmed once again that i am on MY path, MY journey, the chosen one i was born into this world to live out.

the silence was broken. i am grateful.

as i learn to speak with courage, my body is also learning to move with courage.

i went to a African dance class today in attempts to continue to challenge myself to live fully in my whole body, not afraid to move in new ways. my shoulders to the sides, back and forth, using back and shoulder muscles not normally used at my 9-5 job. my feet grew wings very quickly in order to keep up with the spirit of the drum giving me the rhythms i was moving to.

i want to use new muscles. dance to the rhythms of my own drum- the heartbeat that gives me life. i want to laugh from deep within me, learn from all the elders around me who live a life of joy no matter what hardships they have faced or are currently challenged with.

my laugh is loud. i want to celebrate its notes by laughing more and more until i am brought to tears. and within that space, community is also birthed. me siento tan afortunada. i feel blessed in a million different ways. imagine your belly, your place of fearlessness, the creative, erotic, determined belly bursting with rainbows and light, warmth. that is how i feel right now. i must enjoy this moment, breathe it all in and remember it when my voice starts to go again, when the busy-ness of life tries to swallow me whole. my fight back; my armor are these rainbows, this joy, this gratitude.

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