I want to find peace. I figure she’s in me somewhere and I just have to open myself up to seeing her, embracing her love.
Lately, I have been feeling out of control with my emotions. I can experience what feels to me like way too many emotions in an hours span. This type of feeling makes it difficult to be productive in. I know that when someone is struggling emotionally or psychologically it very much means that that person is near a breaking point, a new discovery, a shift that will bring new life.
Understanding that, I try to be as compassionate with myself as possible. I call upon the water I see in front of me, the water that moves the waters in me so that I may not feel stuck in this moment in time. Instead I try to remember that no moment is permanent, that this too will pass.
I want to be like the birds that float on the water, at the shore of the ocean or on a lake. They just float with the waves. They float with such confidence that the water will not topple them over, that the ocean is their giant container to just be, become. They look around moving their little heads, watching everything and everyone. And they just keep floating as if nothing else mattered but to enjoy the coolness of the water at their feet and belly, and the wind kissing their faces, the sun providing the warmth they need to light up the fire in their hearts. Once in awhile, depending on the type of the bird, they submerge their heads or bodies into the water, come up, and shake it off. And just keep floating and observing life. Often birds float in packs, as they do in flight. Other times they float in solitude. And when they feel like it, they decide to fly away, as they do their feet dab the water a few times in flight making ripple effects for a few steps before completely allowing their wings to take them away into the big giant blue sky.
I want to be like those birds who seem to enjoy life, one moment at a time. Who take the time off when they need to regroup, rest, or simply just be cradled by momma ocean. I want to duck my head in water, wash myself, shake off, and keep floating with that same trust that they are embraced and loved.