some scattered thoughts for the love series

Falling in love feels like falling from the sky not knowing if your parachute will work. Falling in love means taking risks that one would not have imagined taking until the moment of decision making.

Falling in love when it feels so healthy, when deep down in my place of courage i know that my whole self is being nurtured, makes me feel the love in places i didn’t know existed. The love feels like an aura surrounding me, letting me know that i am well taken care of and that the amor felt between the two is bigger than two human beings sharing love; its building a life together, solid, flexible, grand.

Falling in love with the same person even when the person is no longer in our lives teaches us to love people for who they are and not for who you would have liked them to be. The melancholy that accompanies old love, old hurt survives in shut closets.

Then there is friendship-Love; love shared through storytelling over coffee in the mornings with old friends, and when distance is the case, coffee text dates work just fine. and i must not forget to mention here, sister- Love: love you know will be there no matter what happens, couldn’t get any better than that!

The fall season is here and i can feel winter right behind her. I can smell her in the evenings, peoples fire places have started burning. The morning crisp air, ice on the window shields, and scarves and hats have started to be worn.

The cats spend more time inside in the warmth, by the heater, all 4 of them, helping each other stay warm.

The holiday “blues” als0 estan aqui, a bit early for me, but I welcome her. I’ve been thinking of living communally again…and other days I enjoy my solitude too much to give it up, even if it means a little bit of a financial strain every first of the month.

My hands and fingers have been longing to be dug into the earth. I wonder where my next living situation will be and if I will have more land to work on, communally, that is for sure.

Im listening to M. Ward, music that reminds me of the holidays a few years ago. Now the music brings me back to love lost and love found since. I think of the friendships and people who were in my life last year, and the year before. Friends i long for, childrens smiles i miss, and others that i know its best that we decided to part ways. All important still.

Full moon on Friday, getting ready for the ceremony at the LB house. I’m wondering what my intention will be for the new month. I have a hunch it will have something to do with love…self love, love for others, love fueled by rage and action, love and forgiveness of self and others, especially it seems I’d like to forgive the people I have been so angry with that don’t question the oppressive systems others are choking on. I don’t want to forgive to let go or forget. I want to forgive so that I make room for more action and more self reflection.

Bueno, more soon.



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