i just read over the requirements for the PhD program i am thinking of applying to. i get sick every time i read what i have to do to get in.
i am overwhelmed by the thought of not getting in. so much that i not so unconsciously forget to begin my application process. this has been the case for about 6 months now.
la D constantly checks in with me about this. and i run from the conversation as quickly as possible. fearing that she might one day catch up to me i hide under rocks and behind lush gardens so that she can’t find me.
but i know the questions are there, even if i run from them.
how do i get myself to face this BIG monster i have hiding inside my body? what if i don’t follow through? f*** just the thought of it makes me even more nervous.
a timeline. maybe i should begin with a timeline.
pasito a pasito and maybe i will get there.