being back in los angeles has been healing to my soul. the time in Rio, unexpectedly became a spiritual journey of some sorts.
like in no other trip i have ever taken, i was homesick for the first two weeks. then with all the courage i could gather, i pulled myself up together enough to ask myself some really tough, skin-shedding questions, and the last 3 weeks of my trip became exactly what i needed them to be- tiempo para descansar, aprender, and practice living with an open heart, more fully present in my body and spirit.
living with an open heart…es un FULL TIME JOB. cuesta no cerrar el corazon, it is easier to create excuse after excuse why it is better to think our way out of a potential heartbreak rather than to actually OPEN UP, arms and heart wide open to whatever the universe has to share with us at the moment.
luckily, i experienced an immense amount of “trusting my own intuition” and i did exactly that- i practiced that which is truly natural for me, walk in faith that the universe is working something out through me, and that i am just a small creature among many grander things in this world. yes, my decisions do matter. but bigger than me is el universo working, doing its thing. and i…i am left with the task of trusting that no matter what happens with this human body, this human heart, everything will be okay and i need not to worry so much.
let go of the reigns a little. understand?
so right now, el corazon is experiencing…un poco de longing, heartache but in a “i trust life” kinda way.
as S- my heart sister, said, i am experiencing this moment in life like a true Mexican, con todo sentimiento and of course the cathartic drama followed by encuentros con amig@s en cantinas to discuss love, loss, life, el mundo, and everything in between.
enjoy esta cancion.