in need of some movement in my body after a 7 hour work day, 2 night classes back to back, practically all 12 hours spent sitting down, a friend of mine and i met up last night at a local bar. our meeting seemed a bit needed, yo con mi, i could’t make sense of sadness that overwhelmed me for about 2 hours yesterday and she who had just gotten unjustly fired at her job. even more the reason to move the cuerpo around to make room for some healing energies to enter.

as she made her way to our meeting spot, i wrote on napkins, capturing the details around me, the lights, mismatched decor, loud music, the emptiness of the bar. i hung out on the high stools, noticing peoples smiles, interactions with one another, and the other non-accompanied beings who i made eye contact with to acknowledge their existence. smiles and nods all around.

once there, J took all my attention, going in and out of conversations about job loss, Wisconsin, Michigan, Libya, teaching and learning, the struggles of a new instructor,  relationships, theatre for social change, the Nortec Collective performing next week- “lets go, yes, definitely”. her energy arrives in full force and leaves the same way it came. she thanked me for the company, talking bout how much she needed to hang out and catch up. we gave our hugs good bye and i drove away in search of a gas station. the first one i found (and the one i stopped in) cost $4.11 for the  cheapest gas!!!! time to start riding my bike again, carpooling on a more regular basis con la F, or taking the bus!

i drove down 6th street by the death place of a Guatemalan day laborer, killed unjustly by an lapd officer in late 2010. the flowers that people brought him daily, were no longer there. image upon image poured in, filling the streets with gente, mucha comunidad en lucha, in loss, confusion, anger. images of the friction between activists, organizers, and political groups who in some ways usurped the occasion, taking it out of the hands of the comunidad, fitting it into their own personalized political agendas, unintentionally but it happens.

and now 6 months later, still nothing, no justice, no real tangible answers, no accountability. we mourn a loss, we anger at an unjust law…we do this for some time, not long before our attention turns somewhere else, H describes us as SLEEPING, or in a state of dissociation. my bloods flows faster, heart beating, feelings of isolation, how can we forgive when there is no system of accountability for the overwhelming injusticias all around?

deep breathe.

i want to wake up. move, swim, dance…create.


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