i know i haven’t written

the words are blocked, they stop at my tongue, my lips shut closed, unwilling to waver, let me speak, let me say something, let me tell the world that i’m swimming in a pool of emotions.

today marks the 3rd week of protests in Egypt. the numbers grow or at least have not lessened. people sharing food, skills, anything to support each other staying out there another day, until they see/feel the changes they so desperately need/want/desire…their human dignity does not let them go home, and i ask myself, pero por que here in the U.S. from our government to the common folk, we don’t mobilize in solidarity con nuestr@s herman@s that need our support. change happens when globally we demand it, we see it in our re-written hxtory books, por ejemplo, in sur africa the so-called “end of apartheid” happened when the international community got involved in support of the masses of sur africanos seeking change, from the ILWU long shore workers stopping international trade to the black, brown, white, yellow, red U.S./globally based masses also stood up to our own governments to demand a YA BASTA shift.

i wake up in nightmares of the violence that can so quickly happen if the media stops paying attention to whats going on. im terribly frightened at the very thought of 300 people already killed, and i’m asked, “why are the protesters violent” “do they need violence to get what they want?” pero,we can not get stuck in the traditional violent/not violent conversation, yes, your right, there is so much more to discuss, its complicated, filled with generations of hxtory, foreign relations, interests, greed, poverty, psychological damage, desperation, hope.

after one of those heated discussions what i find that i need is to immerse myself in the hope that Egyptians are sharing with us, loudly. bathe myself in this hope, like i do my fancy olive oil/brown sugar mixture on a cloudy day, remind myself that el cambio si es posible and that my tears, as i was once told,  are not a sign of weakness , rather they help wash away the injustices we live in. for that matter, i want to tell my pupils to let my tears free, let them flow freely para que i do just that, help lavar todas estas injusticias down the drain.

a loved one fears moving back to the U.S., i feel her fear and i have no words for it, other than it will be ok, somehow people figure out ways of living beyond survival, build comunidad, create barter systems where i care for your child and you help me clean my house. its possible, more life is being created than death, too often its easier to focus on the violence or bad news, its hard, i know, i feel the challenge too.

more news-

today’s democracy now show (very powerful!)

http://www.democracynow.org/

Asmaa Mahfouz & the YouTube Video that Helped Spark the Egyptian Uprising:

http://www.democracynow.org/2011/2/8/asmaa_mahfouz_the_youtube_video_that

Obama/U.S. on Egypt, important news, but makes me sick to my stomach:

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-us-egypt-20110208,0,3689735,full.story

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