i watched the film, revolutionary road, tonight with my cats and my lady.
surprisingly the film was actually really thoughtful in sheding light to the sadness in giving in to the comforts of life at the cost of fulfilling your potential.
ever since i could remember, i was told i was to marry a nice man with a good job. my father for many years shared with me his concern about his kids not being “stable enough”. he was worried that we (especially my sis and i) would not find someone to take care of us.
i remember the students at my high school talking about their future careers being dependent on what their families dictated for them. and again in college, i met so many men and women desperate to find “THE ONE”.
i would be lying if i didn’t say that it was not tempting for me too. i had my “white xmas” once and thought to myself, “this is it”! ha!
funny because many people who know me, know that i’m not one to settle down. i’m the one that jumps from relationship to relationship, running from commitment and “forever”. not because i don’t believe in love or relationships, but because the idea of being with someone for the rest of my life scarred the hell out of me.
coming from a family where divorce is not needed for seperation, where two married people can literally live under the same roof and never speak to each other, causing at minimum much angst among the children involved, taught me well. don’t trust anyone.
so as i was watching leonardo and kate reunite in this movie, again as lovers, this time playing very different roles, i heard my heart breathe deep in gratitude that the fear of “being commited to someone” no longer freaks me out.
the movie was not about this, on the contrary it was about a young couple that met and dreamed big dreams together. marriage, kids, and the suburbs got the best of their dreams, and the ending was surprisingly real.
what got to d and i is that the story being told is not fairytale. its actually very true of our world today. so many people give in to the powerful forces that guide us women to believe that we have to get married before 30 and us men that it is our sole responsibility to get a job and support the family.
it was beautiful to watch this couple attempt to challenge these forces. it was strikingly heartbreaking that they did not “win”.
and so in my commited relationship🙂 i pledge to keep our fire alive, dream big, travel, love strong, build community to support our love, think and act radically on all levels of life, and of course, never to give in to the comforts of life that can suck ones life dry if we allow it to.
and as amaya (f’s lil one) in her own way said this morning over breakfast as she asked us to toast with orange juice, “here’s to life”.
y que viva la vida!